I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
