i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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