I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
