cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
