If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
