Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
