Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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