im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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