I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He kissed a someone with a penis
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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