Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
