You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
