I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
