just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
