WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
