They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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