I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you inspire me to be a worse person
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
