She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
don't judge my taste in strippers
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i believe in u and ur pee
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
