Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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