I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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