In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
