hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
