After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
