I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Randomize
