Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
