I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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