I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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