Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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