I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
