FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
