I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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