Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
