i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
