No awkward lesbian experiences without me
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
