Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
