I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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