this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
