Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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