Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
