Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
