I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
