We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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