Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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