I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
