by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
