Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
operation harelip BJ is a go
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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