i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
