Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My bed smells like the plague
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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