so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Randomize
