I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
