they need to just BURY HIM!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
