I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my sisters under your porch take her home
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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